Who would have known that my last weekend being 22 would provide so many great life lessons? Of course by ‘so many’ I simply mean like two or three, but never the less they are all important ones.
Lesson 1 – Lead paint; while scrapping lead paint face masks are not needed
Me: since it might be lead paint, do you think we need face masks for Saturday?
Jared: I don’t think so; I don’t think anyone is planning on eating the paint
Lesson 2 – Phone placement; ladies should not keep their cell phones in their back pockets while wearing tight jeans, especially in situation where going to the bathroom often.
Lesson learned this weekend; while at a birthday cook out on bathroom trip one my phone fell out of my back pocket and landed on the floor… directly in front of the toilet; and then again on bathroom trip two when pulling down my paints my phone fell into the toilet.
Lesson 3 – You’ll do anything; after enough to drink & with nothing in the toilet, you don’t even think twice about reaching in to retrieve something out.
I heard the splash and thunk as my phone hit the toilet water and snake down to the very bottom, without a moment to spare my hand was in the bowl fishing my phone out as I thought, “oh crap I have got to get that…”
Lesson 4 – Drunken sarcasm; I should probably just try to not be sarcastic while drunk – it just doesn’t come off very well.
While I may have good enough manners to thank you for having me over while drunkenly Facebooking from the passenger seat of the car, there comes a point where I get comfortable being around you and drunk enough I am convinced I am hilarious when in reality I am not.
Lesson 4 learned while making smart ass comments about how I couldn’t believe a friend had gotten a half sleeve tattoo and was parading it around for everyone to see. Comments like, “Who do you think you are making everyone look at your tattoo?” and “I can’t believe you’d put it somewhere everyone can see.”
I was convinced I was hilarious, but soon learned no one else got the joke as the room sat silent staring at me; finally it clicked! “Oh, ha, get it…” they started, “because Heather has the chest tattoo…”
Lesson 5 – Permanent Instagram photos; the how to get permanent Instagram photos – drop your camera phone into the toilet bowl.
Once dried out, the only clearly still damaged thing on my phone was the camera lens, covered in droplets of water.
Me: The camera still works; everything just has the toilet water effect on it
Jared: It’s like having a permanent Instagram App.
That was a lot to learn the weekend before turning 23, but at least I got them all out of the way and can move forward into this new year of life knowing a little bit more.
Oh yeah, in case you forgot Internet – it’s my birthday.
So far today:
My Mom called my from Florida earliy in the morning, followed by a phone call from my best friend, Ashley, and such a kind birthday text from my brother which read:
Happy birthday ya old lady
Then I got cupcakes at work, the robot measuring cups I’ve been wanting and lunch all from Noodles & Co. paid for by Sheryl… and even better when we got our lunch and they saw it was my birthday, they gave me a free giant rice crispy treat.
“Yes,” I replied
“Okay… is it your birthday?” She asked while walking away from the register to grab our order.
I laughed, remembering that I had made the meal name “Birthday Lunch” and answered, “Yeah.”
The cashier walked around the corner, bag of food and giant rice crispy treat in hand. She held up the rice crispy treat and said, “This is the biggest rice crispy treat I have ever seen here, so I was going to take it home… but since it is your birthday you can have it.”
She handed me the bag and rice crispy treat and walked back to her register to help the growing line as I thanked her.